The Incredible Hulka Says Sorry

I hate school mornings.

I morph into an ugly, wingless, extra terrestrial being and no matter how hard I try, I can’t control it. I completely get what David Banner went through whenever Hulk was summoned to the surface by the anger gods. (If you’re under 20, you may know him as Bruce Banner, doesn’t matter, he’s the same hero in my books.)

Enter ‘Hulka’, my occasional alter ego. She is not as muscular as Hulk and she doesn’t become green, but she does come to life Mondays to Fridays, between 6 and 7am and again for a few minutes in the afternoon around 5.

hulk

What’s incredible is that as soon as they are out the door, and I’m halfway through my second cup of coffee I feel a semblance of my calm, loving self, return to my being. The ‘they’ that I refer to are my children. My children whom I love more than life, the ones I work tirelessly for and the same ones I could easily sell on any given morning, or late afternoon.

Somedays… They. Drive. Me. Batty.

sell-kids

Particularly in the mornings when the plea for “Five more minutes pleeeeease” is on repeat and no one is ever satisfied with the food prepared. The other day, they came downstairs for breakfast before running off to school and each found a glass of water and their vitamins. That’s it. There would be no bacon or French toast or corned beef left on the table that morning. Not even a bowl of cereal. I’d had it and could endure no more.

Breakfast.jpgI guess that’s the price I pay for giving up a live-in helper. Sigh.

The thing is, I know my limits and I try to operate within them. That said, my children now know (by trial and plenty error) that calling Grandma or Grandpa for homework help is always a safer bet than asking me. The Incredible ‘Hulka’ shows up at these opportune moments. I used to feel like a borderline failure as a mother – ashamed almost, because I was unable to assist my children with their basic homework assignments. But I quickly got over myself with that dream. I had honestly heard enough of “…that’s not how ‘Miss’ does it,” or “…Mummy, this is how it’s done in modern times.” Soon enough I learned that my brain operates on a different frequency than my children’s. “What do you mean that you don’t understand 2+2 = 4??? Isn’t it obvious?”

2 plus 2.jpg

I recognized fairly early that my involvement in the process would cause my children to become emotionally and academically scarred. So I took myself away. Scubaaay. When my son whispered to his sister that he thought I honestly didn’t know the answers (due to the length of time since I had last been in a classroom), my daughter (also my biggest cheerleader) advised him that “Mummy knows everything!” (She’s 8, so in her eyes I’m still the authority on all things!) I listened to their conversation while pretending not to, and gracefully gave up the homework ghost that day.

Clearly, David and I have much more in common than I ever dreamed of as a child who was completely fascinated by his timely metamorphoses. Yes, I’m talking about David Banner again. I always I liked him. Next to Wonder Woman (naturally), Hulk was my favorite superhero. Little did I know that we were kindred spirits, affected by like stimulants and now as I grow older, my tolerance threshold gets lower and lower. I’m working on it though…

Much to my mother’s chagrin, I have always spoken to my children in conversational adult language. I discuss topics with them that my parents and quite likely yours, would never have considered. Truth is, I screw up more often than I care to write about today, but I take no shame in letting my children know when my cup is full. As best as is appropriate, I am quick to explain to them that although they are correct to think that their mother is an amazing woman, I occasionally make mistakes. And when I do, I say that I’m sorry. It’s not always easy to apologize, but they too are learning that the road to change begins with the art of forgiveness. I am human after all. If nothing else, my boy and girl will know the value of an apology, and when and how to say sorry.

I grew up thinking that my parents were immaculately perfect. I have no recollection of any discord, argument or even a heated exchange – well, maybe once, but that’s a whole other story.  My sisters and I were shielded from anything untoward that may (or may not) have taken place in our home. And while that worked for them then, today I choose to do it differently. In creating the bed of roses for their lives, it’s important for me that they understand that those beautiful, fragrant roses come with delicate petals, necessary leaves, some dirty soil including a mandatory worm or two and of course, prickly thorns. It’s all part of the beauty and intrigue of this thing called life.

roses.jpg

All I’m doing is trying to keep it real…

Advertisements

9 Replies to “The Incredible Hulka Says Sorry”

  1. WOW…love this one. I’m not a parent yet but will take these lessons with me. We are super heroes to them but we can’t always be super and nothing is wrong with that. Forgiveness and understanding is key.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL the go-slow is my achilles heel I turn into my version of Hulka as well.
    Love it Hulka!!!
    I gave up the ghost on homework about three years ago. I hate homework I believe it is designed to torture parents and have absolutely nothing to do with the children learning. So when they ( my kiddies) start acting up I simply have them close the book and move on to sleep time.
    Good fun read Michelle

    Like

  3. I am a mother of a 5 year and a 2 month old, both boys. The 5 years old being adopted with my new born is like driving a car and taking driving lessons simultaneously. I truly empathise with feeling like a borderline failure as a mom especially during the school week, I cannot recall the number of times I broke down because I knew it was unfair to him. The ‘hulka’ persona is second nature for me since my new born, and yes like you I find myself saying sorry more times than is healthy. So I since made a conscious decision to do right by both of them…still a working progress. Can I tell you it’s hella’ tiring because it’s like a short term plan of action that you subscribe to every single day for the rest of their childhood. All being said you’re not alone and I feel hopeful that I’m not alone either. Thank you for sharing your story.

    P.S.
    Nicole.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree, my green monster seems to make its appearance in the evenings almost. Too funny. I wholeheartedly agree with you that , smelling the roses, should come with information on how that said rose was developed.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ohhhhh Mich…..thank you so much for writing about this, I now realize that I am not alone on this parenting road. I too can relate to Hulka (I also curse…..like the big bad words….like the Jamaican one dem……and yes I am ashamed at times), but when they say that children try you, is no joke. I very often have to remind myself that I am dealing with a nine year old and not a college student. With all that said…..I love my little girl and she is my built in bestie……just have try and calm down a little and not stress out so much…..
    Keep them coming Mich…..I really enjoy reading your blogs. Love you girl.

    Tricia

    Like

  6. Wow Michelle I really enjoyed this. You are so beautiful and doing just fine as as a mom. Yes….. there are times when we lose it and feel like a failure but then there are so many joys of motherhood…they compensate! Keep at it girl ….this one lasts a lifetime! I am over 30 years ahead of you and # still learning.

    Much love
    Aunty Celia

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s