On one of my first layover flights as a new Flight Attendant, (back in the early 90s), I found myself in the Philadelphia Airport duty free store eager to spend my newly-earned money on the latest fragrance. A ‘senior’ coworker said to me very matter-of-factly, “Don’t waste yu money on perfume my dear. You need to buy face and neck cream my dear. Yu skin not going to look tight and supple like that forever!”
In my humble opinion, she had passed her place. We weren’t friends (yet) – in fact we met just the day before. And on top of it, she had no clue what she was talking about… I was 21 years old. My face was firm like a green mango and that wasn’t changing any time soon.
My youthful ego was incredibly strong! But then again, they say that youth is wasted on the young and I finally have to agree. Fast forward 26 years and I ask myself where did the time go???
Today, as I feverishly stroke upwards when applying my face and neck cream, I am trying to rationalize the gamut of emotions I feel, while my logical side tries to accept the inevitable journey up this hill that we must all climb. There is only one way to avoid aging, and I’m not ready to go yet. My work here is not yet done.
I had planned to age gracefully.
I envisioned myself exuding a Diahann Carroll/Grace Kelly/Sophia Lauren type of grace, because that’s what I saw when I looked in the mirror. As a little girl, I saw my older self in the women who graced my television set or magazines, regardless of their colour. What I didn’t see were the hurdles and potholes they had to go over and under to get where they were. I didn’t see any of the scars behind their beautiful.
The other day, I called my daughter to help me. I was trying to remove some stray hairs on my chin, but I couldn’t see them well because I clearly need to change the prescription for my over 40 eyes. WTF!!! When did I get here? I laughed hysterically (at myself) as I recounted the carbon copy story featuring my mother and me some 30 odd years before.
Life is a cycle. You either learn to ride, fall off and get back on again, or be satisfied with simply walking. I believe if we teach our daughters to ride from early on, they’ll never forget.
But that’s a different story for another time…
A discussion with friends a few weeks ago revealed that we are all in the same boat. In our own indomitable style, we are facing the ‘aging hill’ and are trying to figure out how to make it up and over. I know that I’m growing older – that’s life. But then suddenly I woke up one day, looked in the mirror and saw my mother staring back at me. I panicked. Don’t get me wrong – my mother is a beautiful woman. And at 71 years old, she has accomplished most of her heart’s desires I had to do a lot of introspection and it honestly took me a while to process and accept that I wasn’t just worried about the lines being written on my face, but more so about the legacy I was writing to leave behind.
I work closely with young girls, encouraging them to look deeper than the surface for what true beauty really is. So while my head knows this truth, I found my heart struggling to accept what my reflection was showing me.
In an age where most things are ‘fixable’ with the touch of a button, the click of a mouse, or the cut of a knife, I was facing my pending maturity with deep laugh lines, early onset wrinkling, drooping boobs and a mom bottom. I didn’t like where I was heading. And I also had no idea just how commonplace corrective plastic surgery had become! Nips, tucks and fillers are routine, but I wasn’t prepared to go that route.
When my friend Angelie suggested that we capture ourselves now, at the youngest we would ever be again in this lifetime, I agreed without a second thought. Even more so because we would be subjects of the great lens god, Dwayne Watkins. The timing could not have been more perfect. Dwayne’s THIS IS YOU PROJECT is a powerful new exposé that opens the heart of people’s lives, and allows them to embrace their true selves. I was truly honoured share a part of my journey through his lens.
Would I be considered vain and self-indulgent? I didn’t care. This wasn’t about what ‘people’ thought. I did this for me. I enjoy setting and achieving short term goals. This would be a great tool to test both my endurance and discipline as I worked toward a fitness challenge and an emotional challenge that would only serve to make me better.
We gave ourselves 6 weeks to get camera-ready, which meant, strict healthy eating, lots of rest, no alcohol and a rigorous exercise routine. I’ve been working out inconsistently for 4 years, so while I wasn’t in terrible shape, I definitely wasn’t in the best shape. So I became more deliberate about ‘me’. The truth is, I fell in love with me again, and it’s been an amazing ride. I’m taking better care of me from the outside in with a dedicated exercise routine, and from the inside out by eating far less crap than I usually would.
Today, I have different conversations with myself. I doubt less and do more. I feel amazing whenever I accomplish the goals I set for myself. And I’ve learned that when I look great, I feel great. And vice versa!
I’ve learned to truly love my body – drooping breasts and all! It took me a while to accept that my breasts were no longer in the same position as they used to be, but every once in a while when I take the time to look at them, and touch them, I’m reminded of their power to nurture and satisfy.
I accept that I am not comfortable when I gain weight, so I do what I need to do to maintain that balance. I no longer have the luxury of ‘consuming whatever’ that my 20s and 30s afforded me. The 40s hit a different kinda way! I’ve learned that ‘me-time’ is as important for us, (especially as we get older) as honouring our obligation to those we love. For me, it has become the place where I can be honest with myself about everything that’s going on around me. It’s my place of comfort and joy.
Do you have your ‘me-time’? Do you love your body? Do you truly love the person you see looking back at you in the mirror? Do you know what legacy you are leaving?
I’ve never really understood why women shy away from sharing their age. I’m proud of my 47 years. (Although they happened so quickly! ) I love me. And it’s taken me a long time to learn that self love is not selfish.
You should try it.
Michelle Gordon
THIS IS ME.
This is us.
― Marty Rubin
L to R: Angelie Spencer, Michelle Gordon, Mellissa Powe
- 40+ : Angelie Spencer – @angeliespeno
- 40+: Mellissa Powe – @drmelgpowe
- 40+: Michelle Gordon (me) – @b3bossmom
- Photography: Dwayne Watkins – @teamdwp
- Art Director: Dwayne Jureidini – @dwaynejureidini
- Videography: Reynaldo Martin – @reynaldomartin
- Makeup: Chevell Powell – @beautiful_beginnings_24
- Stylist: Brandon Ferguson – @dondadda_
Michelle 2day 
Absolutely Beautiful!
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Thank you so much for sharing this and being so transparent!
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